Bonjour my British chums and welcome to our first advertisement in the well-read Eurostar magazine Metropolitan. A bit like taking coals to Newcastle, we are introducing NOUGHTY Brut and Rosé as THE alternative to alcoholic Champagne by putting our bottles right under les nezs of thirsty French passengers who want to tone down their alcohol intake.
It's long been known that French wine drinkers are some of the most discerning in the world, obsessed (rightly) with quality and artistry of fine winemaking. We hope that the Gallic palate reacts favourably to our organic, vegan alcohol-free sparkling NOUGHTY.
It has been widely reported that Emmanuel Macron drinks approximately 14 glasses of wine per week, considerably above the WHO recommended number of 14 units (six medium glasses of wine) per week. Hopefully he might spot our advert on his trip over to COP26 next month and place an order.
On ne peut qu'espérer! One can only hope!
Do say: Vive désalcoolisation!
Don't say: Lever le coude mes amies!